Letters to the Naruto Cast
by Kitty Otaku
Summary: Just send a review to any Naruto character, and they'll give you a reply! Anybody at all! Though, I'm not that good at the Akatsuki, I'll try...
1. Chapter 1

The newest thing in fandom technology! It's Naruto penpals! Yes, there are a lot of these out there, but these are for real. I just want people who have questions for the characters to put them in a review and they can get them answered by the character, or myself, Kitty. Hopefully, you won't think I'm ripping off of your story (anyone) if you think I am, I'm sorry. I just thought this would be so much fun. So, yeah. Just put your question in a review and the character you asked about will reply. Thank you so much!

Kitty and the Naruto gang.


	2. First Letter down!

**Finally! Someone did something! Then again, this was posted so long ago, I don't really know if it would be seen by, like, anybody! Thank you Satta Kurosama! Here goes!**

Hi Kitty! I'm reviewing! Whee! Anywho! Questions!

Gaara- Why don't you have eyebrows?

Naruto- Have you ever tried to shave off the whiskers?

Naruto- Why do you wear and orange jumpsuit? Isn't it kind of

conspicuous?

Sakura and Ino- Why do you like Sasuke so much? He's an ...

Sasuke- Why are you an ?

Neji- Is the ponytail a Hyuga thing? And if you can see through things

and

what not, what's to keep you from being a mjor perv and none of us

knowing

it?

Woot! Questions!

Okay then! Kitty Otaku here to help you with all your needs! Lesse!

Gaara! You have a question!

(Gaara is carried in by sand. Lazy bum.)

G: Why don't I have any eyebrows? Well, it's actually quite an embarrassing story. The first time I fell asleep, the Ichibi shaved them off. They never grew back. I have a hunch Rock Lee has an eyebrow stealing jutsu, but that's just me.

K: Next question then! Naruto! Get your ramen eating butt over here!

(Naruto is dragged in by a strange looking bodyguard.)

K: Thank you Matt! Now Naruto, the question would be: Have you ever tried to shave off your whiskers?

Naruto: Shave off my whiskers? No! They're the closest thing to facial hair I have! Did you ever notice that nobody gets facial hair around here? I have to look macho! If I do, then Sakura will stop obsessing over that teme Sasuke, and go out with me!! Dattebayo!

K: One more question, Naru-chan!

N: What? And don't call me Naru-chan! Dattebayo!

K: (mutters) Well, that's better than Believe it! (louder) Hokay!! Your other question is: Why do you wear an orange jumpsuit? Isn't that kind of conspicuous?

N: Actually, Sasuke-teme told me when we were younger that orange was the color that all the best ninja wear, so, because I'm gonna be Hokage one day, I decided to take his advice and wear orange! But… It got me beat up a lot on the harder missions… (sighs)

K: (cough) Right, I didn't sic anyone on you. Eheh heh heh… (rubs back of head) ANYWAYS! Next we need Sakura and Ino! Matt! I need you to restrain one of them so that they don't kill each other.

Matt: Sorry boss, my muscles aren't really working all that well. You know I hate going outside. Um… Use Near! He's smart! He'll just, like, hit a pressure point or something.

Kitty: Thanks. (eye roll) Ino! C'mon out here! Sakura! You too.

(Both walk in, glaring at each other.)

K: The question is simple. Why do you like Sasuke so much.

Both: Because he's SO cool!

K: (sweatdrop) Right. Next! Please! Sasuke! Get out here!

S: (strolls in coolly, with gangster theme in background.) What? I'm trying to be emo here.

K: Actually, that's just the question. Why are you such an ass?

S: I'm not an ass! I told you, I am an AVENGER! (chidori)

K: Righto. If you don't want a lawsuit on that emo little ass of yours, I'd put the chidori away right now. (angry lawyer in background)

S: Whatever. (strolls away with whatever shred of dignity he has. Sakura and Ino follow.)

Kitty: Jeez, what is with these people? Next question! Neji! Get on out here! We need to know some stuff about the Hyuga residence!

Neji: (walks in, Byakugan at the ready.)

Kitty: Is the ponytail a Hyuga thing, or does it just make you feel pretty?

N: Hey! That's not in the letter!

K: Whoops! My bad! (snickers)

N: Actually, it's just to keep my hair out of my face when I'm training. It doesn't work very well, though. I suppose it was just fate that my hair is prettier than yours. Limp mess. You need some good shampoo.

K: Uh, right. And, uh if you can see through things and what not, what's to keep you from being a major perv and none of us knowing it?

Neji: I have never been so offended! Accusing me of looking through women's clothing! I am not a major pervert! I just happen to be immensely fascinated. (sniff)

Kitty: Right, well, I suppose we can wrap up this tiny segment, can't we? Please, fans, if you are offended by anything I may have said, I did not mean to do so. Also, because I forgot in the beginning:

Matt: She doesn't own any characters from Death Note or Naruto, they're just here for your amusement. (goes back to Gameboy)


	3. Three quarters of the second?

Ask the Naruto Cast3

**Thanks to sco23 for the review. And man, is this one long! Hopefully more of you will like this story enough to review! I'm going to try to get one person's questions per chapter. There y'all go!**

Here's a question for the Naruto cast:

Anko: Why do you like licking blood off people? Don't you know you can get HIV/AIDS or hepatitis b?

Naruto: What does dattebayo means anyway? Why do you add chan to

Sakura's name when she has no feelings toward you? Why don't you focus on the goal of

being hokage instead of chasing Sasuke? Besides if Sasuke doesn't come back

Sakura would probably be yours and if that doesn't work you can go to Hinata

since she secretly likes you?

Sakura: Why do you hit Naruto for no good reason? Because if that was me that

you hit for no reason you would have ended up missing? Are you naturally pinkhaired? Are you ticklish?

Ino: Why are you a vain and temperamental blond? Are you ticklish? Will you

ever cut of the hair bang that covers your right eye?

Shikamaru: Does the word troublesome run in your family?

Chouji: Do you think you can get me that red pill some I can stop pill

popping these weight loss pills?

Hinata: Why do you punk out when it comes telling Naruto about your feelings? Why didn't you use the cage bird seal attack when Neji was beating you down?

Would you go back in time to make sure that Naruto ends up on your team? Are you ticklish?

Kiba: Think you can give me what ever make Akamaru grow so my dog will be

big?

Shino: What would you do to that person if he or she switch your soap and

shampoo with bug poison? What would you do to Naruto if he tells anyone that

you sung and dance at the wedding in the laughing Shino arc?

Tenten: Who would you want to be married to Lee, Neji, or Gai? Did you notice that you get less screen time than the others? I mean where have you been in the shippuuden movie? Are you ticklish?

Neji: Will you ever lighten up on the fate drama?

Lee: Will you give up on Sakura she has a big forehead and will never like

you and is equally vain and temperamental as Ino? Find another girl who like

you for who you are and doesn't think your a weirdo?

Kurenai: Why are your eyes red? Are you part Uchiha?

Temari: What does Shikamaru do to make you like him? Are you ticklish?

Kankuro: Do you use your puppet to scare kids and old people on

halloween?

Gaara: Do you have a girlfriend?

Kin and Zaku: How did Orochimaru kill you? Is Kin ticklish?

Orochimaru, Kabuto, and Sasuke: For billions of dollars or yins, would you

strip down naked with guitars and basses covering your parts and sing blink 182's what's my age again in front of all the yaoi fangirls and yaoi fanboys?

Sound five: If you have a chance to live again, Would you do the right thing

and try to help Konoha defeat Orochimaru? Is Tayuya ticklish?

Karin: Why is your hair freaky like that?

Seigutsu: Are you interested in going out with Karin because you seem to

argue with her alot and I'm just thinking that when guys and girls fight each

other that means they like each other?

Jugo: Do you enjoy having a split personality disorder?

Sai: Do you have any real interest in other things besides insulting people

particularly Naruto's manhood?

Gai: Are you interested in getting a girlfriend or spreading the power of

youth everywhere?

Asuma and Jiraiya: Why did you have to die? Why couldn't it be Gai or Someone else?

Tsunade: Would you had ever gone out with Jiraiya?

Shizune: Are you interested in going out with Genma, Kakashi, or Iruka?

Kakashi: Whatever happened to Rin?

To the girls I've asked are ticklish the reason why I've asked that is

because I couldn't think of anything better to ask and I like to ask annoying

questions.

Peace.

**Kitty Otaku here yet again! Jeez, you guys! I just put one letter up and on the same day got a review! Sweet. Let's get started! First up, Anko. **

A: Hmm. Why do I lick blood off of people? Cuz it tastes good! HIV? Hey, if I get that, all I have to do is ask Lady Tsunade to heal me! She's got a cure for everything! Heh… (scratches head) Not that I'd know…

**Okay… That's…nice… Next up we need…Naruto!**

(Matt drags Naruto in, ramen in hand.)

Naruto: (rubs eyes) Wha? Dattebayo? Um… I dunno… It's my catchphrase! Don't you have a catchphrase?! And Sakura-chan likes me! She just doesn't know it yet!

(pause)

Sasuke… He's my friend. He's the closest thing I've ever had to a brother, and Sakura-chan…I like her enough to help her out in whatever way possible. If she wants Sasuke back, I'll get her Sasuke, even if I have to break his arms and legs and drag him back to the village.

(clang!)

Hinata likes me? Wh-when did that happen?

**(lmao!) Naruto, you clueless dolt. Next up, Sakura!!**

Sa: … Naruto's an idiot. That's why I hit him. (twitch) And…I doubt I'd end up missing for too long. People care about me! Right…? Right!?

(Tugs hair) Why would you think it isn't natural!? Of course it is! And…(blush) I'd be ticklish if Sasuke-kun was tickling me.

**(rolls eyes) Right. Sasuke. Actually, quick fact: The Japanese believe that any color in the spectrum is a plausible hair color. Cool, isn't it? Like in Death Note, where Matt's hair is green? It's cuz they think that could very well be a hair color. Okay! Next up IS: INO!!**

Ino: Vain and tempermental! Why I OUGHTA…!! (Matt holds back) (pushes hair back) Hmph. Ticklish? No! My laugh is ugly! If I was ticklish, then people would hear me laughing! And my hair? Sasuke likes my hair! I'm keeping it until Sasuke says he doesn't want it.

**Riight. Thanks Ino. We'll be sure to be in touch. NEXT! Shikamaruuu!!**

Shika: (hands in pocket. Strolls in) Troublesome. Hey-oh! Speak of the devil…(and he shall appear) Troublesome is sort of something I picked up from my dad. My mom isn't too happy with it, but that woman isn't happy with anything anymore.

**That was quick! Next is…Chouji!**

Chouji: B-but those pills are dangerous! A-and you could die! Why not just try diet and exercise! Look at me three years later! Oh, wait…bad example. Well hey! Good, I mean, Bad news! I'm all out! Ehe heh heh… (runs away)

**Yeah, uh, thanks Chouji. Hope you find more later! On to the next question! C'mere **

N-Naruto… He…he's so nice…and…I-I get so embarrassed around him, I… (faints)

30 minutes later!

(Wakes up!) Gah! Um, the Caged Bird seal? It's cruel. Neji is still my cousin, and I care for him… even if he doesn't care for me.

(gasps) If Naruto was on my team.. I'd… I'd… (faints)

**(tries tickling Hinata)**

Hinata: (gasps, rolling around. Wakes up)

**Well, that's it for Hinata! Hope I'm doing okay so far! Lesse who's next!**

Matt: (drags out Kiba, who is biting and scratching)

Kiba: Akamaru grew? Oh, so he did! Didn't even notice! (laughs. Rubs head.)

**(shakes head) Hoo boy, that kid needs some help. Hopefully I can provide that if he keeps watching this, huh?**

**(punches air) Next is Shino!!**

(Shino walks in, chin below his collar.)

Shino: If I were to find that someone switched my shampoo with bug poison…I would find myself lying in a hospital bed. The bugs are my life! And not a lifeforce, but…my friends. (tear.)

Naruto!! You had better not have told ANYONE or I will beat you to a bloody PULP! Do you hear me! If you're the one that switched my shampoo!!

(thrashes about as others hold him down)

**Maatt! Matt! Get Mello! I need some reinforcements!**

**Before anything else happens, we're going to pull out the next person… Tenten!!**

Tenten: Right here! (cringes) Married to Neji, by far. Lee and Gai sensei… If he were to be gay…Ugh…

Um…I have less screen time? Movie? There's something going on on television that shows me? Not in the bathroom, I hope! (shudders)

Yeah, I'm ticklish. My mom used to tickle me to wake me up for the academy! :D

**Aww, isn't that sweet, folks? Next is Neji! C'mon fate-boy!**

Neji: Fate. I shan't "lighten up" because there is nothing to be taken lightly. If you don't believe in fate, then what is guiding our lives?

**Um… okay. I personally think it all comes down to God. You know, he had a plan with monkeys and it went horribly, terribly aride. Yes. ANYways! Next up is: Lee!**

Lee: Sakura-chan isn't vain! And I don't think I'm a weirdo! Am I? (Sakura nods feverishly)

**Yeah, sorry Lee. You kinda are. But you have plenty of fans! They just…wanna see you with Gaara or Gai! :D Sorry about your luck… Next is Kurenai!**

Kurenai (walks in, putting in contacts)

Whu! No! It's not what you think! I don't wear contacts!

And I swear! I'm not having an affair with Itachi! Where did you hear such lies!

**Okay, we believe you…for now… Next up is Temari!**

Shikamaru is a strong leader who believes and cares for his team. But, that's all I like about him. I don't want anyone thinking that I have something going on with him, okay? Okay.

**Okay. Next up is Kankuro.**

(Kankuro walks up, puppets beside him)

Ah, Halloween…those were the days. Before ninjas were involved! Those kids faces (laughes)

**Okay, next up is Gaara! Man, this is kind of tiring… Gaara, just in case you don't remember…your question is: Do you have a girlfriend?**

A girlfriend? You'd date me? Finally! I'm not a monster to anyone anymore! Awesome!

**Gaara… (shakes head) Alright… Everyone's pretty much outta character. I'm sorry, I'll try, but I'm trying to. Please don't be angry!**

**Next is: Kin and Zaku. How did Orochimaru kill you. And Kin, are you ticklish.**

Kin: Ticklish? No. Not really. Orochimaru just, left us for dead, and…there wasn't any food and, uh…yeah.

**Sorry, not really sure of all details. Um, so if you were looking for a real answer, I can't provide them all. **

**Next is Orochimaru, Kabuto, and Sasuke. **

**For billions of dollars or yen, would you strip down naked with guitars and basses covering your parts and sing Blink 182's "What's my Age" again in front of all the yaoi fangirls and yaoi fanboys?**

Sasuke: Hell. NO.

Kabuto: Um, no…

Orochimaru: Maybe. Is Sasuke going to be there?

**Ick. Yeah, um… I'm sorry, that's it for this chapter. So I want to tell you thanks, and as soon as I get more info on most of the others, I'll put up another chapter. I'm sorry for not answering all of it, but it's taken me a good hour and a half to do this. So I'll see you next time with more answers!**

**Kitty Otaku out! **


End file.
